First Lecture

After this first lecture, I'm still wondering if I should be in this course at all. Many thoughts...

Panic mode engage.

1. Not that the course direction isn't what I want, but whether I will die AND kill my FYP and my honours in one go (if no A-, bye bye to 1st class)... I don't know if I can manage my time well enough, considering that I am a rather slow worker in programming (faster than many Chem Engineers, but probably slow compared to all of the other students from SOC). It's just, whether I can have enough time to still have some semblance of a normal life. (Ref: http://www.fastcompany.com/node/28121/print from NUSHackers group)
   
   Groupmates, whoever you may be, please help me out! I can do frontend stuff like HTML, CSS, simple images and "flashy" little stuff, but for PHP and SQL, I think I may really mess up those.
   
2. Just my thought from the first lecture. I came into this class with a hope that we would be empowered to do some useful stuff for the sake of many people out there who we would never know their names or faces. This small hope is mostly smothered with facts of practicality, and it's hard keeping it alive. There is no need for every single person who takes the stage to emphasize "you are going to die! muahahaha" and further make us question whether we should be here. No matter what, I'd really rather hear encouraging words. Negatives drown people. After all, it is not very useful to dampen the spirits of people who wish to change the world. Every effort to do so may not be world-changing, but it matters to those whose lives we've touched. I'd hope the environment in future is encouraging and not negative.
   
   (really recommend that link up there to all who believes that coding through the night is the only way to produce great results, if not you're not putting in enough effort.)
   
3. Of course, it's weird being in an environment where you usually don't belong in. Even after taking 3 modules from SOC and being IT1005 TA, being physically in SOC itself freaks me out still. I have no idea why, it may be some sort of aura. It always feels like, "I don't belong here". There's always a very strange and lonely feeling when I'm in here. It's like, eventually "I'll leave this place and go back to my department"
   
4. Need to be less introverted and try to interact with more people. But talking to any people (asking for directions, small talk, heck even just filling out the form yesterday) drains my battery like mad. Anyone has any good ideas?
   
5. Ambition may be good, but I believe I need to take measured steps. Is this a measured step? No. (seriously)
   
6. But of course, I still believe in the spirit of CS3216... Just heavily doubting my ability to survive the execution of the module.
   

Yesterday after reaching back to my room in KFH, one of my friends came over. We were talking about the first day of school, and the topic inevitably reached CS3216. Of course, the heavy workload came up, and his recommendation was for me to drop this module and focus on the FYP.

Not. After 3 years of waiting, this is my chance to do the module. But I think I need to depend greatly on all the other coders, since I consider myself rather deficient. Let's see where this all goes to...

Now what's needed is to switch from panic mode to excited mode. Then all will be fine. How to do so?

It does feel better getting some of this out of my head.